My weekend with Chip was so amazing. I laughed and laughed. I loved the dance he did for the girls, and I think they had fun with him. You can’t help but have fun when you’re around Chip. I tried my best to fill our two short days together with lots of entertainment, so I took him to The Local Table for drinks, Fifty 5 Degrees for brunch and The Brasserie for some incredible pots du crème. I miss him already!

So, for the past week or so, I’ve had this strange, anxious feeling that I haven’t been able to place. All’s good on the home front, life is no more stressful than usual, so it really started to get to me that I was feeling this way. Last night, I finally figured out what was wrong with me: for the first time in twenty years, I’m not going back to school. No more school. Done. Weird.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m so freaking happy that I’m done with school that I do a little dance every time I think about it. What is starting to freak me out is that my whole life, I’ve been hurtling towards some end goal at break-neck speed, and suddenly, I don’t have a clear goal ahead of me. I don’t have some pressing thing I have to accomplish. What I have left to accomplish is more long-term with fewer clear items to check off, things like success in my career, paying off debt and someday, being a mom.

I’ve always had trouble saving for the future, so maybe planning for the future is difficult for me too. Or maybe it’s living in the moment that’s hard for me.

I think this feeling must be the reason why many newlyweds get pets a few months after they marry.