My mom remarked the other day that I hadn't blogged in almost a month! The truth is that I have started several posts, saved them and then never finished them. There has been a lot going on, and sometimes it's easier to just abide and keep moving forward that stop for a moment and take stock of where you are.

But, I'm going to try today. Here's where I am: I have been in my new job for five months now, and I feel like my role is still taking shape. For the past 2 1/2 years, I've relinquished control of my career to God, and I'm not sure if it's gotten any easier. It's a daily effort of waking up, turning the day over to God, and choosing to trust the direction He's moving me in. Of acknowledging the anxiety I often feel but tempering it with the knowledge that I'm learning to rely on Him more and more.

And what a journey it's been! I never imagined the blessings God had in store for me, never saw the possibilities that are before me now.

But, it's been a stressful couple of years, and it that doesn't seem to be changing. Bryan's dad, who has been staying with us since August, is having open-heart surgery next week. On top of that, Bryan's mom has some on-going medical problems that will require her to have another surgery this month.

Throughout our entire relationship, Bryan has always been my rock, helping me face fears and work through my anxieties, so we're in new territory right now. I very much want to be a source of stability and strength for him during this time, and I'm praying for the fruit of the spirit to be evident in my life as I support him while working through my own stressors.

I wonder, though, does life get any easier as we draw closer to Christ? Do our priorities become more clear, therefore giving us perspective on the things that matter and the things that don't? Do we ever reach a place of peace, or will it always be like this?

So, that's where I am right now. I'm trying to figure all this out, but I remain grateful that my sanity and clarity can always be found in Him. What would I do without You?